Week 1
The old trail is the only route your brain knows. The urges are loud. That's normal, not failure.
What I wish someone had told me
You've quit for a while. This time, quit for good.
It's wiring, not weakness. I was hooked on porn for 13 years. I've been free for nearly six, and I've coached 170+ men through it since.
I was that guy.
I was hooked for 13 years. For seven of them I'd promise myself "never again" and break that promise before the week was over. Hundreds of relapses.
I had no process and no guidance. Just willpower and faith, and neither worked.
What finally changed wasn't more willpower. It was understanding what was actually happening in my brain, then getting the right tools and support.
That's what I teach now. No shame, no lectures.
It's not a willpower problem. It's a worn trail.
Every time stress, boredom or a lonely night sent you to porn, your brain wore that trail a little deeper. That's why it fires on its own.
Stop walking it, wear in a new one, and the old trail grows over. Here's the first year, in the words of men I've coached.
Week 2
The flatline. Energy dips, nothing feels good, and you wonder if it's working. It is. That dip is your brain healing.
From my coaching calls
Week 6
“Mentally, I am so much more grounded, calm, patient. My wife commented I seemed more present.”
Client S., married
Week 10
“…been clean those 10 weeks, which is really crazy to say. It blew past my previous streak.”
S.G., 27, software engineer
Month 3
“I went almost 90 days without pornography and I have more clarity, more energy, I've been able to handle stress better.”
J.H., 31, mechanical engineer
Month 4
“My addiction already seemed laughable within a month. And I had also cut out weed, alcohol, and nicotine from my life.”
D.N., 37, full-stack developer
Month 8
“25 years later, at age 38, with 3 young girls, I decided it was time to quit for good. It's been much simpler than I could have imagined.”
Client C., 38, father of three
Year 1
“One year forward, I had quit my job, figured out what I want to do in life, and I am now launching my own business.”
Client N., a year out
Nearly 6 years
That's me. The old trail grew over years ago. These days I help other men wear in the new one.
Start with the daily email.
One short email from me every day: why the habit runs, how to take it apart, and what life looks like once it's gone. 3,965+ men read it.
- Devin McDermottHow to exit the escapism loop
- Devin McDermottWhat's draining your battery (it's not work)
- Devin McDermottThe danger of staying busy
- Devin McDermottTurning darkness into light
Other ways in
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5 minutesFree
Read something I wrote
Short essays on why the habit runs and how to switch it off.
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Free downloadiPhone and Android
BeFree, my app
Streak counter, urge toolkit and daily lessons, for the days you want something in your pocket. Rated 4.8 on the App Store.
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60 days, 1‑on‑1Starts with a free call
Neural Reset Mentorship
For men who've tried everything. We work together every week to rewire the habit at its root. You talk to me, not an assistant.
If you've read this far, part of you is done with the old trail.
I know that feeling. I also know how fast it fades when nothing changes.
So do one small thing today. Let me send you tomorrow's email.
Devin M.
P.S. It's free and private, and you can leave with one click. It's the easiest way to find out if the way I think about this clicks for you.